1. |
Beginning
03:31
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Can I talk to you and not sound cliché?
‘Cause I’ve never met you but will someday?
And I’ve never loved you but I can say
I’ll love you longtime some day
‘Cause I’m sick of waiting, I’m so impatient
You should know that about me
And I’d just like to get on
With the business of brushing our teeth
Side by side over one bathroom sink
And I’d just like to get on
With the business of getting too mad
Over who said what, when it was, and
I would just like to get on
With loving you
Annoying you
Kissing you
Enjoying you
Dismissing you
Forgiving you
Repenting too
Exciting you
Boring you and
Missing you
Wanting you
Embracing you
And drinking you in
And then we’ll have a kid
And it’ll start again
With us
Loving her
Amazed by her
Discovering her
Sustained by her
But I’d just like to get on
I’d just like to get on
I’d just like to get on
I’d just like to get on
With the things we’ll do
Till we get old
Till one of us
Is first to go
(I hope it’s me
‘Cause I’m no good
At grieving
But statistically
You’ll leave me)
And what I mean
And what I mean
Is let’s get on with beginning
with beginning
Hey, let’s get on with beginning
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2. |
Growing Up
02:44
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I wanted to kiss you to grow up
If you’re listening, you know what a childish way to think
If you’re listening, you know what a fool I’ve made of me
I’ve never felt more like a child
I feel sick, sick, sick
‘Cause growin’ up, I guess
Is not magic
‘Cause growin’ up, I guess
Is not magic
I wanted to kiss you to move on
But I swear I could see us together for a while
I wanted to get some perspective,
and maybe attention
Haven’t had it for a while
Haven’t had it for a while
Haven’t had it for a while
Haven’t had it for a while
I’ve never felt more like a child
I feel young, dumb, sad
And I have not grown up
I’ve just made things bad
I’ve never felt more like a child
I feel sick, sick, sick
‘Cause growin’ up, I guess
Is not magic
‘Cause growin’ up, I guess
Is not magic
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3. |
Blazing
02:44
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I was angry at you, darling
'Cause you didn't say the words
That I'd hoped for, and was sure
You would give
As a favor, as an offering of peace,
As a kindness
Words I knew would be easy to say
Forgive me, love,
That I need to forgive you
Not meeting expectations
That I set
Forgive me, man,
I've been so angry with you
For not saying what I thought
You should have said
I am fire either way
Blazing towards you or away
Burning for you or with shame
Always too hot a flame
I am fire either way
Blazing towards you or away
Burning for you or with shame
Always too hot a flame
I was raging, forest fire
‘Cause you didn’t give me peace
And you could have easily
What a wound
Everybody knows the saying
Tell me that you love me, baby
But not the way I’m craving
Couldn’t you?
I am fire either way
Blazing towards you or away
Burning for you or with shame
Always too hot a flame
I am fire either way
Blazing towards you or away
Burning for you or with shame
Always too hot a flame
I am fire either way
Blazing towards you or away
Burning for you or with shame
Always too hot a flame
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4. |
As It Happens
03:47
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As it happens,
Today was hard
I didn’t like me and I
Didn't like the cards
I held in my hands
Or I'd already played
I didn't like the odds,
I didn't like the game
As it happens,
I felt like a wreck
Like who would want to be
A part of this mess
Like I could understand
If everyone left
But I don't talk like this
I don’t talk like this
I’m scared
That's all I seem to be now
Just scared
And I can't see a way out
I'm scared
Like it's all I'll ever know
How to do
So could you
See me through
Like I'm just made up of fears
I'm scared to find
out that I’m still here
Like I’m just made up of years
of hiding out,
of being insincere
As it happens,
Today was hard
I didn’t like me and I
Didn't like the cards
I held in my hands
Or I'd already played
I didn't like the odds,
I didn't like the game
But I don't talk like this
I don’t talk like this
I don't talk like this
No, I don't talk like this
I’m scared
That's all I seem to be now
Just scared
And I can't see a way out
I'm scared
Like it's all I'll ever know
How to do
So could you
See me through
I’m scared
That's all I seem to be now
Just scared
And I can't see a way out
I'm scared
Like it's all I'll ever know
How to do
So could you
See me through
'Cause I don't talk like this
I don't talk like this
I don't talk like this
I don't talk like this
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5. |
Cathedral
02:53
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You are a cathedral
All filled up with light
A holy place, and in your face
I see such stunning heights
I am a believer
Waiting in the pews
I tried to join the choir but
Kept grinning back at you
I don’t know if I’m talking
to my man or my god
I don’t know if I love you
Or worship in awe
You are like a temple
Flooded with the saints
A sacred spot which we have fought
a dozen wars to stake
I am a believer
Flooded with my fright
A haunted place and in my face
You see nothing is right
I don’t know if I’m praying
Or howling for you
I don’t know if this quaking
Is fear or gratitude
I don’t want the comfort of
anyone else
I don’t want their hymns or love
Just you and yourself
I don't want the comfort of
anyone else
I don't want their hymns or love
Just you and yourself
I don’t know if I’m talking
to my man or my god
I don’t know if I love you
Or worship in awe
I don’t know if I’m praying
Or howling for you
I don’t know if this quaking
Is fear or gratitude
A sacred name
I like to say:
My baby, and my God
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6. |
Bare
03:13
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I held my bleeding heart out
Like it was something to be proud of
Like I hadn't learned from my army pa the truth
That a bleeding heart makes a bloody mess of you
I let--I begged you to hurt me
To run me out, to leave me empty
Like I hadn't learned when my pa was stern with me
That without a war, there can be no victory
And there's no war with you, but I seek out injury.
And I finally understood
The mess I make
The risk I take
When I try to be good
The great mistake
I undertake
Believing that I should
Be as bare
As I can be
A dreamer lost in the woods
You don't feel love
You feel pity
I hold my hollow hopes out
Like they're something to be proud of
Like you haven't told me I'm being naive
Like I’m a child, like I haven’t seen a thing
And I finally understood
The mess I make
The risk I take
When I try to be good
The great mistake
I undertake
Believing that I should
Be as bare
As I can be
A dreamer lost in the woods
You don't feel love
You feel pity
I held my bleeding heart out
Like it was something to be proud of
Like I hadn't learned from my army pa the truth
That a bleeding heart makes a bloody mess of you
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7. |
Brave
02:33
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You were not afraid
Of anything
I could not relax
Fear fancies me
You are like our whole
Brave family
Leap into the unknown
Go fearlessly
But I’m the kind
Who held us back
We never learned to dive
I feared shark attacks
And I recall
The mountain slope
Stretched out below
While you tried to coax
Me through the snow
And down the hill
Tears on my coat
I’d had my fill
But still you rose
Climbed up to meet me
And though you froze
Did it so sweetly
‘Cause you were not ashamed
of anything
You could play the fool
fearlessly
And you were like your own
Anomaly
Came into your own
So beautifully
So where am I from
That I am so scared
Why do I feel
Always unprepared
Why do I need
That reassurance
‘Cause I’m not like you
Go with the current
‘Cause you are not afraid
of anything
I cannot relax
Fear fancies me
You are like our whole
brave family
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8. |
Galilee
03:25
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Last New Year’s
I sang about you
But I don’t wanna make
mistakes I always do
This New Year’s
meet someone new
But I’m so scared to make
a new mistake like you
Last New Year’s
We stayed out late
But I don’t wanna make
Mistakes I always make
This New Year’s
make an honest end
with old friends and strangers,
I’ll start again
‘Cause baby I was brave at least
Even if I’m incomplete
Baby, I’m a wreck at sea
But so was Pete at Galilee
Baby I still sing to you
Will I ever love someone new?
Baby I’m a crying mess
But maybe so was Jesus
’Cause baby I broke my own heart
I ran over the things I want
Baby I am like a child
But so was Moses on the Nile
Baby I was brave at least
I’ll always be incomplete
And I can be a wreck at sea
‘Cause so was Pete on Galilee
I can falter on my feet
So did Pete on Galilee
Baby I was brave at least
Even if I’m incomplete
Baby, if I sink at sea
So did Pete on Galilee
Baby, if I sink at sea
So did Pete on Galilee
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9. |
Bankrupt
03:20
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Yesterday, I came to you
Deposited a hope or two
Or all of them in you
Can you repay me?
Cause I so value being brave
And being bold and unafraid
That I have made
Some poor decisions
I’m bad with my money
I’m bad with my love
I’m bad at investing
In what I should not
My gran used to tell me
Don’t burn through it all
But what good is money
But to be miserable
I don’t know how money works
I don’t know how loving works
I don’t know why money’s bad
I don’t know why loving’s sad
I don’t know why wealth corrupts
Money and love--I’m so bankrupt
And I am bad at penny scraping
And I don’t have a love worth saving
I’m bad with my money
I’m bad with my love
I’m bad at investing
In what I should not
My gran used to tell me
Don’t burn through it all
But what good is loving
But to be miserable
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Tabitha Brower Provo, Utah
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